every mass shooting incident is traumatizing for the victims,
the survivors and the community it happened in.
But you probably know and feel that you don't
need to be nearby to be emotionally affected as well
joining us now to discuss is Amy more and editor
in chief of very well mind and licensed psychotherapist.
Amy welcome to the show
of course this latest shooting in Texas is especially shocking.
19 innocent babies were lost elementary school students.
Many americans americans across the country share the pain of
the families who are now going through this unconceivable grief.
Can you talk to us about how mass shootings impact us as a
society and how to deal with the trauma that now comes with it?
It certainly leaves us feeling with lots of emotions,
uncertainty about the future, fear concerned for our loved ones.
So it's really important to honor those emotions.
Just taking a moment to think how do I feel about this,
putting a name to your feelings can go a long way toward helping you feel better
and then to figure out how we're going to cope with it.
We all need healthy coping strategies,
whether that's that we're going to talk to
loved ones that we're going to get some exercise
that we're going to go out and do things to really take
care of our minds and our bodies during these tough times.
You know,
I was one of the first reporters in Newtown in 2012
then I was in Parkland florida for the following shooting.
And what I remember is this feeling of hopelessness and anger,
not just in these communities, but for americans
because we have that feeling that nothing will change.
How do you address that feeling?
Because there is a possibility we might see
something like this in our country again.
How do you address that?
So I think it's hard for us to talk to each other about our concerns,
to have somebody that you can open up to and
say this is what I'm going through right now,
but you know that we can take some kind of action,
we always feel better when we are doing something.
So whether that be that you donate to a cause that
you believe in whether you join some sort of a movement,
it might be sending cards to loved ones,
but doing something kind for other people and feeling like you are part of
the solution rather than just sitting back will make you feel a lot better.
Even though you can't necessarily prevent the next big thing from happening,
you can take steps to make the world a little bit of a better place.
Oh,
I think that's such great advice besides the parents and
I saw this both in Newtown and in Parkland,
a lot of kids were afraid to go back in the classroom,
especially for an elementary school where they can't quite grasp what happened.
Do you have any advice for students and parents
when it comes to going back to the classroom?
I think it's important for them to have a plan of, what are you going to do,
Who you gonna talk to?
Maybe it's just at lunchtime,
I'm gonna meet up with my friends and have a conversation
or I'm gonna call home during the day if I can
or I'm going to check in with my teacher just making
sure that you know what the plan is for tomorrow,
I'm sure there are tons of kids who are filled with dread
and fear tomorrow just knowing that you have a couple of things on
the agenda can help and for all of us to be having
conversations for students to know that they can talk to their friends,
they can talk to their teachers and hopefully that they can talk to mom
and dad about the emotions that they're going through on the other side.
How do parents caretakers talk to their kids about this?
And I do want to pose a question to you amy,
do you think it's a parent's job to instruct
their child on how to protect themselves in case
the shooting?
I think it's important for parents to know what the school's plan is,
what the teachers plan is and then we can have our own plans with kids two of whom,
if something like this happened, who would come pick you up, who would you call,
how would we get in contact with each other?
Just having some sort of a plan and parents
can reinforce what the school's plan is and if
they have drills at school to talk to kids
about what the steps are that they're supposed to take
and it's so important for us to talk to kids about how they're feeling,
guaranteed they've heard something about it.
So to ask them what they know already
these age appropriate language and rather than just dismissing their fears by
saying don't worry about it or I'm sure you'll be saved.
Talk to them about their feelings and how
do they take care of their feelings whether that's
but they draw a picture, they write in a journal that they call somebody,
a friend that they are able to talk to you about it.
We want to make sure that we're validating how they feel
rather than just minimizing it and saying don't worry about it.
And we keep getting reminded of this tragedy by social media,
just the bombardment of information that it's coming
all towards all of us if you cannot escape
the news and what we're listening to what is the
best way to stay informed but not feel overwhelmed.
We know that just tuning into news stories about it can raise our
blood pressure for a solid 20 minutes even after we stop watching.
So it's important to make sure that you're mindful about how much you're doing
if you're scrolling constantly throughout the day
or you're getting alerts on your phone,
you're gonna stay in a heightened state of alert.
So be mindful of that and take breaks even if it's just a 20 minute
break at a time where you go do something else to take care of yourself
and then be mindful about what you're consuming right now.
You may have to go after some really good news and be proactive about that.
Whether you watch funny videos or you look for something that's just a little more
positive so that you don't have to feel bad too about always consuming the news.
Or sometimes people say I feel guilty doing
anything that's not news related but sitting back and
just consuming news all day long isn't necessarily going
to do you or anyone else any good.
Any other tips on how to deal with
traumatic incidents that we're seeing in our country.
Amy
I think it's about honoring our emotions and if you're really struggling to sleep,
if you see changes in appetite,
whether it's you or your Children then don't
be afraid to seek out professional help.
You can always talk to your physician,
you might call a therapist called Community Mental Health Center Crisis
Hotline and say I'm struggling right now and get some support.
Amy Moran Editor in chief of Very well mind and licensed psychotherapist.
We really appreciate the advice here