>> AND LOOK AT WHAT
WE KNOW THE ERA OF ME TOO AND
CHANGING IDEAS ABOUT
MASCULINITY ONE REPORTER FOUND
MEN HAD A LOT OF QUICK. SENT A
LOT TO SAY THE NEW BOOK MODERN
MANHOOD CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THE
COM. THE KID WORLD OF BEING A
GOOD
MAN TODAY. ALMOST 100 MENTOR,
THEIR HOPES AND FEARS ABOUT
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A GOOD MAN
TO GET NOW IS CLEO STILL
ARE OFF OF MODERN MANHOOD CLEAR
I TODAY HI THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR HAVING ME
SO WHAT IS IT WE ALLUDED TO
THIS A LITTLE BIT BUT WHAT IS
IT ABOUT TODAY'S CULTURAL CON
TEXT THAT MADE THIS BOOK
APPROPRIATE FOR RIGHT NOW.
>> I HOSTED A TELEVISION
SHOW CALLED SEC'S RIGHT NOW
WITH CLEAR STILL ARE FOR A
COUPLE YEARS AND WE WON BACK TO
2017. HARVEY WEINSTEIN SCANDAL
HAPPENED ME WHO NEED TO HIT
THE MAINSTREAM. AND MEN WHO
WATCHED MY SHOW STARTED WRITING
IN TO ME ASKING ARE YOU GOING
TO DO A SEASON ON THIS BECAUSE
I HAVE SO MUCH
TO SAY, BUT I'M AFRAID TO SAY
ANYTHING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I
DON'T WANT TO GET IN TROUBLE
AND FRANKLY I THINK IT'S REALLY
CONFUSING RIGHT NOW. SO ALL OF
THESE QUESTIONS STARTED
PILING INTO MY INBOX AND I KIND
OF JUST SAT ON THEM, THEY WERE
QUESTIONS LIKE
I'M A SINGLE GUY AND I'M
TERRIFIED TO APPROACH WOMEN.
I DON'T WANT TO BE THE NEXT
DISEASE ANSARI OR I'M A NEW
PARENT AND HAVE A NEW CHILD
ABUSE AND I'M WATCHING THIS
KAVANAUGH HEARING AND I DO NOT
KNOW HOW TO RAISE A
GOOD MAN OR MANAGER AND I HAVE
A LOT
OF HIRING POWER. I WOULD COP TO
THIS IN REAL LIFE BUT I'M
AFRAID TO WORK WITH MY
FEMALE EMPLOYEES. SO THESE
QUESTIONS ARE JUST PILING UP IN
MY INBOX OVER THE PAST COUPLE
YEARS
AND FINALLY I WAS LIKE I SEE
THIS OPPORTUNITY FOR ALL OF US
RIGHT TO COME TOGETHER AND TALK
ABOUT THESE THINGS OPEN LEE AND
NO ONE IT WAS REALLY DOING THAT
SO HOPEFULLY THIS BOOK KIND OF
GETS AT THAT BECAUSE THERE ARE
A LOT WE
KNOW RIGHT MEN CARE ABOUT THIS
STUFF. THEY'RE HAVING THESE
CONVERSATIONS ON GREEK TEXTS
WITH THEIR FRIENDS.
>> SO LET'S TALK ABOUT IT YET
AND I'M GLAD YOU I'M GLAD
SOMEBODY IS HAVING THIS
CONVERSATION BECAUSE YOU'RE
RIGHT WE HEAR THIS A LOT FROM A
LOT OF MEN OUT
THERE BECAUSE YOU WOULD JUST
THINK NOT BEING A YOU KNOW, I'M
A TERRIBLE PERSON WOULD BE
ENOUGH TO LIKE KNOW WHAT BEING
A GOOD AND FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE
THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE
LINE IS SO IN YOUR DEFINITION,
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A GOOD
MAN SO.
>> IT'S IMPORTANT TO SAY WRITE
IN A BOOK
LIKE THIS. THERE'S NO BLACK AND
WHITE WRITE THIS BOOK IS FILLED
AND HIGHER EARLY OF GRAY AREAS
BECAUSE THAT'S WHERE WE ARE
RIGHT NOW. THINGS ARE CHANGING
IN AN UNPRECEDENTED WAY, BUT
LET'S SAY LIKE WE ARE WAY
OVERDUE FOR A
CORRECTION RIGHT. SO THEY'RE
CHANGING IN AN UNPRECEDENTED
WAY AND BE EVERY INDIVIDUAL IS
GOING TO REACT TO WHAT'S HAVE
THE NEW RIGHT NOW IN A
DIFFERENT WAY. SO THERE'S NO
LIKE DO THIS DON'T DO THAT
RIGHT BUT WHAT WE DO ASK PEOPLE
TO
DO RIGHT IS GET REALLY IN TOUCH
WITH THE MOTIVATIONS BEHIND
YOUR
OWN BEHAVIOR. RIGHT AND MAYBE
THINK A LITTLE BIT LESS ABOUT
LIKE WHAT IS A GOOD MAN DO AND
WHAT IS A GOOD WOMAN DO AND
MORE LIKE WHAT DOES
A GOOD PERSON TOTALLY RIGHT BUT
I KEPT HEARING FROM GUYS THAT I
SPOKE TO THEY WOULD BE LIKE
FIRST ALSO ALL THESE STORIES IN
THIS BOOK. THESE MEN CAME TO ME
THEY ARE LIKE. I HEARD YOU'RE
WRITING A BOOK ON
THIS TOPIC DO I HAVE A STORY
FOR YOU AND THEN WE'LL GO IN
AND TELL A STORY AND SOMETIMES
YOU FEEL LIKE.
AND SOMETIMES
YOU WOULD LIKE OKAY, NO THAT IS
LEGITIMATELY CONFUSING I HEAR
YOU TOTALLY ALL OF THESE MEN
GENUINELY THINK OF THEMSELVES
AS
GOOD GUYS AND REALLY YOU KNOW
THE RECOMMENDATION MIKE WHAT IS
A GOOD MAN DO TODAY. IT'S LIKE.
AS A CULTURE NEED TO GET MUCH
MORE COME TO BALL INQUIRING
ABOUT THEM THE VISIONS OF OUR
OWN BEHAVIOR AND
THE LIKE. YES, I DON'T WANT TO
HURT SOMEONE'S FEELINGS.
THEY DON'T WANT TO MAKE SOMEONE
FEEL BADLY. I SHOULD LISTEN TO
THEM RIGHT LIKE WHY WHY DID
THAT HER WHY DID THAT GO WRONG.
>> COVERED A LOT OF DIFFERENT
TOPICS, PARENTING MONEY FRIEND
SEXSON DATING
SOCIAL MEDIA SINCE THEIR
BUSINESS ARE GETTING SOME MONEY
SECTION ONE THE QUESTIONS YOU
ADDRESSES HOW MILLENNIAL MEN
ARE HANDLING THE
INCREASING TREND OF THEIR
FEMALE PARTNERS MAKING MORE
MONEY AND THEY DO GIVE ME AND
IT GOES TO SHARE BUT HOW MEN
ARE KIND OF COMING TO TERMS
ABOUT HANDLING THAT AND.
>> IN COURAGE AND THAT
HOPEFULLY EVEN TOTALLY SO
ACTUALLY THIS.
MY FAVORITE CHAPTER IN
THE BOOK. IT WAS A
SURPRISING ONE BECAUSE
OBVIOUSLY THE SEC'S CHAPTER THE
WORK CHAPTER THE PARENTING
CHAPTER THAT MAKES A LOT OF
SENSE IN THIS CONVERSATION
RIGHT. BUT MONEY ARE LIKE WHERE
DOES THAT COME IN AND
THE REASON WE CREATED THIS
CHAPTER WAS BECAUSE THERE ARE
THESE ARCHETYPES OF MEN THAT WE
ARE INVESTIGATING AND ONE IS.
AND SO I STARTED HEARING FROM
MEN A LOT.
AND I KNEW THIS FROM REPORTING
MY TELEVISION SHOW AS WELL
RIGHT, WE KNOW THAT
INCREASINGLY ESPECIALLY IN
URBAN SETTINGS WOMEN ARE MAKING
MORE ARE INCREASINGLY MAKING
MORE THAN THEIR MALE COUNTER
PARTS AND YET WHEN IT COMES
TO ME MILES AND RELATIONSHIPS
WE HAVE IT ENTIRELY UP
TO YOU DID OUR IDEA FOR GENDER
ROLES RIGHT WE STILL TEPID
TYPICALLY THINK OF MEN AS
MAKING MORE. AND WOMEN.
BECAUSE THAT SNOW INCREASINGLY
NOT TRIP.
I WAS FINDING IN MY INTERVIEWS
THAT I WAS HEARING FROM AND
FROM WOMEN THAT IT WAS
CAUSING TENSION IN THEIR
RELATIONSHIPS AND IT LOOKED IT
WAS CONFUSING TO BOTH PARTIES
BECAUSE YOU HAVE GUYS TO BE
LIKE I MEAN GENERALLY SPEAKING,
I'VE GOT A
PROGRESSIVE IDEA OF MASCULINITY
LIKE I'M NOT A SUPER MACHO GUY
BUT FOR
SOME REASON MY FEMALE PARTNER
MAKING MORE THAN ME LIKE MY
FRIEND'S RIDE ON ME OR I JUST
FEEL THIS INNER SHAME
ABOUT IT. AND SO THE ONE STORY
THAT WE OPEN UP WITH IS A STORY
FROM A GUY THAT I THINK WILL
CALL BRIAN AND HE HAD A SUCCESS
ALL ART DIRECTOR, BUT THE
PRESSURE OF THE JOB. GOT TO HIM
AND HE DEVELOPED A LITTLE BIT
OF A DRUG HABIT. SO HE WENT TO
REHAB GOT CLEAN AND AND KIND OF
REBUILDING HIS LIFE.
HE TOOK A MAJOR SALARY CUT AND
BECAME A CRAFTSMAN.
THEN HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH A
WOMAN AS A SURGEON SHE MAKES
LIKE 6 AND A HALF TIMES WHAT HE
MAKES RIGHT.
DID NOT CARE AND THIS IS HIS
STORY HE CAME TO ME RIGHT, BUT
ACCORDING TO HIM, SHE DID
NOT CARE. BUT HE MADE MORE THAN
HIM SHE LOVED HIM.
SHE ADMIRED HIS WORK ETHIC.
HE WAS A HARD WORKER HE SHOWED
UP IN THEIR PARTNER SHIPPED IN
ALL THE WAYS THAT SHE NEEDED.
AND HIS FRIENDS WERE LIKE DUDE
YOU'VE GOT IT MADE LIKE YOU'RE
GOING TO MARRY A SURGEON LIKE
IN RIOT RIGHT. HE TELLS US ONE
STORY ABOUT HOW.
KIND OF SPUR OF THE MOMENT SHE
WANTED TO GO TO ICELAND OR
SOMETHING AND IT WOULD GET THIS
IS LIKE BREAKING MOMENT FOR
HIM BECAUSE BACK IN HIS
PREVIOUS LIFE YOU KNOW WITH
SIX-FIGURE SALARY. OUR DIRECTOR
HE COULD HAVE JUST FLOWN OFF
AND RIGHTS BUT BUT THIS NEW
ROLE HE COULD GET SOMETHING IN
HIM.
THIS ISN'T WORKING
AND SO HE TOLD ME HE WOULD
THINK SUBCONSCIOUSLY RIGHT THIS
REALLY NICE
TO HIM. THEY STARTED TAKING ON
MORE AND MORE AND MORE JOBS
THIS SO THAT HE COULD MAKE
MORE MONEY EVEN THOUGH NO ONE
ELSE IS PRESSURING HIM THIS IS
HIS OWN THING, I'M THE MAN I'VE
GOT TO KEEP UP
AND HE TOLD ME THAT YOU KNOW
THEY
HAD TO 2 YEARS OF AN INCREDIBLE
RELATIONSHIP SHE REALLY HELD
HIM DOWN THEY WERE TRULY IN
LOVE.
AND THEN BECAUSE OF THIS LIKE
INSIDIOUS NOTION THAT HE HAD TO
BE THERE PROVIDER
HE TOOK ON SO MANY GIGS THAT
HE WAS UNABLE TO PROVIDE FOR
YOUR RELATIONSHIP EMOTIONALLY
WASN'T THERE TO KEEP UP HIS END
OF THE HOUSE
AND EVENTUALLY THEY GREW APART
AND HE WROTE INTO THE AIR YOU
WAS YOU KNOW.